SHOULD I KISS MORE??

Hey there, I hope and trust you’re in good health. Welcome to February, the month of love

First things first the tittle of this blog got less or nothing to do with this blog, that was just a way of getting your attention right on. Moving on to the topic at hand today let me start by saying Love is a beautiful thing. Like naturally we all are born with an inclining to love and to be loved. God by his divine powers put in each and every one of us what Dr Gary chapman describes as the Love tank. Just as a car never runs on an empty fuel tank, humankind also malfunctions on an empty or half-filled love tank.

At the heart of every mankind is the desire to be loved by another. – Dr Gary chapman

So today I just wanted to make a few highlights on how we can keep the love tank full especially in this valentine’s session.

Just as every journey needs adequate gas/fuel to get to our desired destination either by plane or car, relationships requires a whole lot of fuel to be maintained and enjoyed for a life time. The trend is during the honey mood stage the love tank is always full but soon or later there is always a need to start refueling. Most people started the journey of love and failed to reach their destination because they failed/forgot to refuel there love tanks.

Keeping the love tank full is as important to a relationship as maintaining the oil level in a car. (Those with cars get it a lot better, enanu we praying for you lol.) Running your relationship on an empty or half-filled love tank is also a whole costly than running it without oil. And that’s a car that can be serviced, in relationships however we are talking of emotional damages which can not be easily repaired as the tangible things like a car.

In our quest to keep the love tank full, a lot of us have kissed, are kissing and definitely will kiss a few more frogs before we find our prince or princess. Although some have kissed the right frog the very first time or second their second attempt, Whichever your case might be, never let anyone’s judgement define you, never allow their opinion affect you in any way (In fact drop a comment at the end, let me know how many frogs you had to kiss before the Prince or princess, briefly share your story)

Now that you have your prince or princess, how do you keep the love tank full? If you are still kissing a few frogs, you might wanna take notes. To deal with how to keep the love tank full, it’s only right that we expose What Drains the Love Tanks….

ARE YOU READY?? LETS TALK ABOUT IT!!!

Running on one tank

A relationship is an investmen and this is not some small investment of building a flat in your home village, NO. A relationship must be taken very serious. This investment has two tanks. To run on a single tank in an investment that has two tanks and is supposed to operate on two tanks is as fatal as flying a plane on one engine, the chances smooth landing are 50-50.

Now imagine teaming up with someone to go on a trip to desired destination that has great opportunities for both of you. To get to this destination you are going to have to refuel 7 times. So you take that double tanked off road Range rover with an agreement that everyone will be refueling one of the tanks full at every gas station. The voyage starts full of chanting, joy and happiness, the refueling happens as planned for the first two gas stations. As you get to the third station, your partner doesn’t do as planned and you let it go and move past it looking at the great goal ahead. This happens for the next 2 stations and suddenly mood changes in this car, not only because of the issue at hand but because the drive is also tiresome. A’int this the case with most relationships.

Keep both tanks full.

During honeymoon stage of each relationship, both parties are pouring into the relationship constantly keeping the love tank full. Eventually the inevitable like my illustrations happens and this drains all the juice in a relationship. I need you to understand that keeping things balanced in every kind of relationship is key to success of that relationship. No relationship can run on one tank and both tanks have must be ful at all times. While still single, it is essential to fill ones tank before you double yourself up. It is very difficult to couple with a deficit because the deficit will always strangle the life out of the whole. Keeping both tanks full will bring joy, love and peace to the relationship

Comparison

This is the fastest way to empty your relationship love tank, just compare your relationship with another (especially with that which seems to be doing better than yours) for ten minutes your love tank will automatically drop to E in no time. Comparison on its own has got the power to shift your day from good to bad in a snap. It can and has caused a lot of emotional & mental bruises/pains in a lot of youngsters. Now imagine you already can’t handle comparison of yourself with another or someone comparing you to another now you take this trauma and bring it into a relationship.

What comparison does to a relationship is it undermines your partner’s effort in the relations. Brings about unnecessary arguments, coz your standards for this relationship are based on other people’s stands and that just open rooms for more drama. My list can go on, but let me give you a solution to handling this problem and raise the love tank high again.

Create your own fairy tale.

Growing up and watching and reading Disney Magic fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow white, Beauty and the Beast, The Princess and the Frog was amazing. This experience painted in most of us the illusion of love which in real life barely exist. This picture of “perfect” love in movies has left many searching for something that just doesn’t exist. Now growing up we’ve been exposed to a whole different world which has made us to shade off from these Disney fairytales.

Nowadays social media is the new fairytale that is emptying most love tanks. Social media has brought about a lot of comparisons in the modern relations such that people are no longer in the relationship for themselves rather for the social media views, likes and approval.

Another comparison is that of your current partner from the previous. This is a deadly syndrome that’s draining much more from a relationships love tank.

May I remind you, the grass a’int always greener on the other side, its greener when you water it. Water your relationship my brother, my sister. Actually now is the perfect time to start watering it, am not asking you to go on some fancy exotic date, take pics and showeveryone on social media. If you have the capacity to do so, well do it, if not please don’t strain yourself this Valentine’s Day, stay in your lane my guy. Musadzifinye achemwa, simplicity is the key to a great self-created fairytale.

The concept of creating your own fairytale, is one where you let your relationship to be defined by the stands that you have pressed on it and not those the world has imposed on you. Wheels/tires on a Mecidenc Benz can never be fitted to a Toyota. Don’t let what moves another relationship move yours, it won’t work, it will only drain your love tank. The best part about creating your own fairytale is that it becomes fuel for your relationship.

Expectations

Another thing that acts as the love tank drip-out hole are expectations. Right now as you’re reading this you might be expecting a valentine’s treat from your partner and somehow your partner is expecting the same. whooooooo! lol. The best or sad thing about this game is that one or both parties are likely to leave the playfield disappointed and disappointments really have a way of taking out the juicy out of a relationship thereby dropping the love tank levels.

Disappointments is a monster that feeds on expectations – David MJ

In every relationship, people have different expectations depending on its genesis, but these are some of the most common issues I have noted. The biggest one being the Expectations of who’s on the giving and the receiving end. Under this falls expectations on who calls/texts first every morning, who plans dates and meet-ups, who handles the bills for call, data, transportation, food, dressing & gifts, who should be emotionally open, who gives love most and my list can go on and on, but let’s see how do we solve this problem (this even apply for friendships, I have seen a lot of friendships crumble due to this reason)

Communication

Assumptions are dangerous, don’t assume rather sit down and talk about it. Communication is the fuel for every successful relationship. Dr Gary chapman wrote a book on “The five love languages” (the secret to love that last) it’s a must read book for every person serious about their relationship. In this book are the 5 love languages we can use to communicate with our partners.

If you know at least 5 languages across the world; French, Spanish, Arabic, etc, you might stand a better chance of surviving and succeeding in many countries that are affiliated with the languages you know. If you want to succeed in your love life, I would highly recommend this book for you.

Expectations came about due to lack of communication or lack of clear communication. Our bodies are made in a way that there is proper communication and communication channels between our body parts. The theory is the same with the worlds systems. Zero or miss communication has got serious imprecations to the human body as well as most of the systems in the world (airlines, factories etc.)

In the same manner zero or miss communication has some serous implications to a relationship. The more you communicate, the more doors of unreasonable expectations you shut. The more you master the five love languages the more your tanks over flows.

Remember to drop a comment below, let know how you’re celebrating your valentines?
I wish you a wonderful valentines season, may your love tanks over flow.
Grace and peace.✌️✌️✌️