M NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FEAR
So for my very first blog ever I had mixed feelings on what to I share. Until I heard a voice in my head, we all have heard this voice, it’s so strong so much so that it doesn’t matter the stage of life you are in. while some of us fight it, some keep falling victims to it. The voice is none other than the voice that Pentecostals call “the voice from the pit of hell”, the “you can’t “ voice. Ring any bells?
I know you have heard this voice before, isn’t it funny how this voice always strikes after a great idea has sprouted, then it stands on the opportunity doors and tell you naaa not you, You can’t, you can’t do this, you can’t become this , you can’t pass through this , you can’t manage this , you can’t, you can’t, you can’t!!!!!! Many of us have come to terms with the illusion of this voice, while some of us stand to fight although the battle is never easy.
The past 23 years of my life has been more of wrestling with this voice, I have won few times but I have equally been a victim of this voice many times.
I was born to write, that we don’t really need to argue, however the voice has been one of my strongest opponents on this idea for the last 4 years. I entered this year with my mind made up that I was going to start blogging (you know one of those New Year resolution things lol), thus of course after being inspired by a sister in the lord miss FAITH KAYS and her blog RANDOM THOUGHTS. I discussed this with my best friend and she encouraged me to go for it, “blogging mwati, tiyeni nazo” she said in a sarcastic way. Her next statement is what really got me the most “you have a lot of great stories you can tell the world, a lot of which young people can learn from” she said. This sentence hit me the most as it wasn’t first time hearing this. I flashed back like the movies do. In black and white I saw Daniel Tsukuluza telling the 10 year old me the same thing, “afana you have a great story to tell the world,” I remembered. After visualizing these words I snapped back to reality and thought to myself if at 10 years I already had a great story to tell the world what more at 24. This then boosted my confidence and I started checking other blogs just to get the gist of how they are written. Out of the so many blogs that I checked, two stood out and these were by Faith Kays and of course my mentor Chimwemwe JP Manyozo. I also started reading a lot with Pastor Esau banda being the most read author so far, otherwise TD Jakes, Steven furtick, John C Maxwell, Dag Heward- Mills and Gary chapman are some of other favorite authors.
January ended and before I knew it I was in March, no single blog had been written not that I didn’t have stories and ideas on what to write, but I just didn’t have the guts to put pen to paper. My insecurity being I can’t write, I’m already full of typos in my writing how will I manage a blog. These insecurities amplified the “I CANT VIOCE” so once again as many other situations I fell victim to the voice and placed the blogging idea on hold.
The reason I am confidently saying we all fight with voice comes on one sunny afternoon I visited my mentor together with a friend, in our random conversations she asked Chimwemwe, “chimz I would like to write about so and so ( she mentioned a topic to deal with sexual contraceptive methods issues) . But don’t know how to go about it?” He gave her a look that said aaaaaahh really? And a few seconds word matching the look followed up, In a nut shell he then explained to her how she would go about it one thing I picked out was “don’t overthink about it, just do it , just write” . I became so ashamed of myself when he said a lot of people fail to write because they over think things. That sentence was an open & straight arrow to my chest.
One would think I went straight to writing / blogging after receiving such arrows, Nop I didn’t I was still battling with THE AMPLIFIED YOU CANT and at this time the battle was intense. 9 months into the year no blog has been written on the basis of this voice until recently I came across a meme that said If you hear voices says “you can’t, Know that you can”, thus just the devil trying to shut you up before you even do it because he know if will do it, you will be great. This caught my full attention and got me thinking. I remembered the things that the voice told me I can’t do this year of which one of them was START BLOGGING. I decided to shut that voice out and write and behold ladies and gentlemen my first blog. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT.
And in this case we are talking about FEAR the “I CANT VOICE” is nothing but fear, fear to step out, fear to become. Psychologist John Watson defines fear as a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat.
It is this fear that has been keeping me and is keeping a lot us young people in places we was supposed to have passed long time ago. We perceive danger and threats to the ideas generated by our own brain and leads us to stop and not pursue our goals. We so much potential within us, we are seeds filled with a lot of talents and skills ready to geminate, I mean imagine if we could let go of those fears, shut those voices up Every time they come, imagine the possibilities. In every seed is the capacity to become big, but the seed has to first of all overcome the fear of always being heated by the sun or trumped on by people or animals. Greatness is not made overnight It made by the little battles we fight daily either mentally or on our knee’s, the insecurities we kill daily , the comfort zones we step out of daily, these put together in a long term make us GREAT.
I today choose to become great and like bethel music, I’M NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FEAR.
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